Sad Girl Novel, Pip Finkemeyer
Pip Finkemeyer’s Sad Girl Novel is a novel about writing a novel—or rather, avoiding writing one. I am often drawn to stories about writers, and with authors often “writing what they know”, they can be insightful reads. This one is extra meta, as it’s an actual real-life book is written while narrator Kim dilly-dallies around from cover to cover. Her life is one big blank page before her, and she’ll do anything to avoid facing it.
Finkemeyer hits the nail on the head with this very specific experience; she illustrates the conflict between being a young writer—often categorised by being bookish, shy types—and having a wilder streak. In precious spare time, how do you reconcile being a music-loving partygoer, maybe even what you might consider an extrovert or a social butterfly, while also being a thoughtful soul in need of extended moments of quiet reflection and daydreaming? Berlin never sleeps. It demands to be participated in wholly. Can Kim spin all the plates of her life without losing herself entirely? And will she ever finish that book?
A moment that has crossed my mind a few times since reading is Kim expressing how she feels at odds with Berlin, suddenly hyper-aware that she does not belong. She is on the other side of the world from her home in Australia and she’s seriously considering packing her life up and going back. In this passage, she comes to terms with the idea that Berlin is not responsible for nurturing her creativity and/or career; that “they have their own stories to tell”. She must decide whether to leave this chapter behind or keep chasing the dream.
Procrastination is complex. Writer’s block is just the tip of the iceberg for Kim. It seems that she is easily distracted, she only has one friend – who is now a single mother – as a support system, she has significant self-esteem issues, and the kicker – she’s avoidant. Be prepared to discover that the narrator is in fact a Sad Girl a lot of the time, but I wouldn’t let that deter you.
Imposter syndrome affects the best of us, and Sad Girl Novel certainly explores this experience. Kim feels that the publishing world is fundamentally rejecting her, and only one person seems to see her spark. It’s unfortunate to see her be sustained by this alone, but it’s a poignant testament to the human desire to be recognised and appreciated.
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