Learning to Think, Tracy King
‘Demons are fears made real. They are the physical embodiment of the anguish an empathetic human feels at experiencing or witnessing cruelty.’
Learning to Think opens as twelve-year-old Tracy undergoes an exorcism in her living room; however, none of the adults seem to recognise that the demon living inside her is her grief at her father’s recent death, which is being investigated by the police. Part murder investigation, part apostasy drama, you could easily mistake this memoir for Netflix’s new thriller. And yet, it is much quieter than one expects, and its beauty lies in its thorough examination of the vulnerabilities faced by Tracy’s family.
Firmly rooted in the 1970s and 1980s Midlands, the shadow of Margaret Thatcher’s policies hides behind the pages as Tracy details her family’s poverty and the stigma she faced as ‘a council estate kid.’ An extensive family background serves to demonstrate how her parents were trapped by a broken system, leading to alcoholism on the part of her father, and agoraphobia suffered by her mother. Coupled with the family’s struggles with social care due to her older sister’s school refusal, the memoir ruminates on the lead up to the tragedy and the unconscious bias uncovered during the investigation.
Although this memoir doesn’t overtly critique the UK justice system, it provides a kind of judicial reasoning, as Tracy dives headfirst into Christianity to make sense of the tragedy, before freeing herself from religion by choosing to revisit the trial. The latter half of the book details how Tracy became a Science Communicator, applying her skills to her own past by investigating the facts rather than demonizing the ‘rough council estate boys’ who were accused of manslaughter.
While some readers may want more details of Tracy’s religion and the significance of the exorcism, the overarching message is one of overcoming grief, questioning what you think you know, and learning to think for oneself – a message that will resonate with anyone who has lost a loved one.
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